60 days left. 60 days for growth, for intimacy, for memories, for adventures, for heartbreaks, for revelations. 60 days for change. 

I’m writing this on our 12 hour bus ride to Guatemala. I don’t know what’s ahead, I don’t know what awaits. I don’t know where I’m going or how I will spend my time. I don’t know who I will talk to, or what the Lord will teach me. But I am expectant, hungry, excited, and hopeful. 

Mexico was a pivoting season. I realized so many things were in the way of me and Jesus. Thoughts, habits, distractions. All of it drew me further from Christ and held me back from further intimacy with the Father. I’m praying for the Lord to change my desires, to only want Him. I want a small taste of His goodness so that nothing else will ever satisfy. I want to live a life transformed by the gospel. I want to live my life for Christ and not for myself. I want to step into what He has for me. I don’t want to plan my life, rather, I want to be obedient and learn what He has planned for me. 

Speaking of prayer, I want to ask you to join me in praying for our hosts in Mexico. In continuation of praying for Casa Hogar Alegre, that the Lord would provide the finances needed and staff for the kids. And for the YWAM base and staff that just hosted us. They are faithful servant, whom acted like the hands and feet of Jesus as we stayed with them. They cooked our meals, they provided for our needs, they cleaned up after us as we were sick. They served wholeheartedly with a selfless attitude. I am praying for blessings upon their ministry and their lives, that God would show up and work in greater ways in a greater capacity. 

We are headed to Lake Atitlan, Guatemala. We will be there 1 week, for a mid-point debrief. Then we are headed to our final ministry destination, Antigua. We will be there nearly 2 months for our final stretch before ending. I am hopeful and expectant, I know the Lord wants to move in wonderous ways, and I am so thankful He allows us to partner with Him. 

Our group has been rough the past couple of weeks. I acknowledge that living in community of 30 is hard, but it’s going beyond that. There is tension, disunity, and some consistent sin issues running rampant through our group. We have had so many conversations about it, and nothing seems to change. It seems to be a heart issue, which I’ve struggled with. I want the Lord to work in the greatest ways possible, but He needs willing hearts. And I can’t change hearts, I can’t make people hungry or willing. All I can do is pray for change. So that’s what I’ve been doing. It’s cool to see the Lord show up in small ways, in every detail. He’s answering prayers, and He is faithful. 

Someone once said, “comfort is the god of our generation,” and I couldn’t agree more. The Lord has been bringing this topic up a lot recently. You can’t grow when you are comfortable. Often growth is halted or incomplete because we draw back to what’s comfortable. Taking a blind step in faith is uncomfortable, because we can’t see. We don’t know what’s going to happen or where God will lead us. That is what faith is. 

Last night and this morning I have been so sick. It has made me realize that I seek comfort all of the time. I was sitting in bed just wanting my favorite people with me. I was desiring their presence, like they could heal me. It took me a second to realize that I was seeking comfort, but not Christ. That has been imparting my vision of Christ. And of course, I still desire to be comfortable and out of pain, but it forces me to abide in Christ and lay in His arms. It forces me to cry out to Him and rely on His strength, His presence, and His healing power. 

I had a fever all night last night, and it wouldn’t break. We are at Lake Atitlan, and I’m forced to be in my bed day in and day out. It sucked. I have been in so much pain it's frustrating. I just want to be healed, and I thought I would be better by now. It’s made me realize, again, that I am not in control of anything. That God’s timing is truly the best timing and I cannot do anything to change that. I am looking forward for what God has planned these next two months. I don’t know what He has to teach me, but I know it’s good. Until next time!