We left a ministry again. It used to be one of the hardest things I have had to do, but the Lord is teaching me how to leave it in His hands. Those kids are His, but I had been experiencing so much spiritual warfare before I left. I am reminded of how important prayer is and exercising our authority. 

We got to San Cristobal, our home for the week. We are staying at a YWAM base and joining them for ministry. Over the past two days, 13 of our students are sick out of the 27. We’ve been constantly covering this place and them in prayer. The night we got here we worshipped and covered it in prayer. We’ve been praying and crying out to the Lord. This morning we read Psalms 43, we prayed, and then we asked the Lord what He wanted for today and for this week. He said community for the week, growth, and He told me healing the sick and saving the lost. He showed me a picture of us laying hands on the sick and praying over them, and that’s exactly what we did. Every single one of them we prayed over. And so many have been healed. Today we are going out into the streets and evangelizing. He wants to save the lost. 

I am expectant. I have been praying for hunger within our group. This morning we did an exercise about our community, in relation to a garden. We were told to write down the seeds we want planted, what’s growing already, what’s flourishing, and the weeds that need to be pulled out. One of the seeds that the Lord told me was hunger, there’s no point in even planting seeds if we aren’t hungry for fruit. 

I am hungry. I am expectant. Others have been asking about the baptism of the spirit. We have been praying in tongues aloud. They are curious, and want to know more, and are desiring for more gifts and more of Christ. That is something I cannot control, but I can pray for. I’ve been praying for that over our group, and it’s been answered. It’s so cool to see the Lord moving and growing those around me, without me being a part of it. He’s continuing to prove Himself trustworthy. 

The second half of the week has been funky. I did end up getting sick, but it was tolerable. Once my symptoms were gone, I got overwhelmingly tired and exhausted. Yesterday I spent the day resting, but my mind has not gone still or quiet. There are so many thoughts that I don’t know how to take captive. I’ve been overwhelmed and anxious, and I don’t know why. I’ve been trusting the Lord has good plans, and that I will be okay. I am learning to just look at Him through the sufferings, even if I don’t know what else to do. 

We are leaving here on Sunday morning, and we are headed to Lake Atitlan, Guatemala. We are staying there for a week of debrief, and I am excited to just rest and relax, spending time with our whole team. I am sad our time is sort of coming to an end, but I am trusting the Lord has good plans. I don’t really know what else to do at this point. 

We are moving ahead with our plans for next year. We have decided to go to Asia the first semester and Africa the second. We are working with Seth to build this program and get it going. We are working through how much of it is our part and how much is his. We want to exercise agency while still being smart. It looks like we are going to be planning a lot of the logistics while on the field, which we are all okay with. I am planning on doing an internship/apprenticeship with AIM and it will be focused on Journey School as a whole. I am excited to step into that role and help shape this program. 

AIM is going to sponsor me, and some of the other kids are getting sponsored by the businesses they are working with. Because there are only 5 of us, all of the money will most likely end up going into a big pot. The sponsorships won’t cover all of the money, so we are looking at getting donations from people as well as personally fundraising. I may fundraise for my personal expenses while on the field. 

It’s overwhelming and a lot of information right now as well as things to get done. Juggling next year while also trying to be present is difficult, not impossible, but difficult. I was in my head about a lot of things as I was sick, and it was so frustrating. Yesterday I told one of my friends that I’m scared, that it’s going to be hard, but I know I have to do it. I don’t want to miss the holidays again, I don’t want to leave my family again, but I know I have to. I know I have to be obedient and make disciples of all nations. I know God wants me to go, even if it’s hard, and I know He will sustain me. 

So no huge life lessons or revelations in my walk with the Lord this blog. Just the overwhelmed, stressed out version of me. It’s not pretty, but Jesus is here through it all. He will sustain me, and I know I will be okay. I love you guys, thank you for the incredible support you have given me. Thank you for the prayers, as they have been needed. Please continue to pray for our team, as now almost everyone has gotten sick. You’ll hear from me in Guatemala!