We need food to survive - physically, but also spiritually. If we are not spiritually fed we will starve. Everything we consume is either growing and strengthening our flesh or our spirit. I want to grow and mature my spirit, so I try my best to feed it.

Recently, on this trip I’ve been hungry for more. Our usual 30-45 minutes of devotions in the mornings didn’t feel like enough. Then I had a realization - why would that be enough when there are 24 hours in a day. So I decided I was going to do more, either spend more time in His Word or in His presence. I’ve added more things into my daily schedule to be intentional about resetting with the Lord. I have been walking and praying, listening to worship music, and also listening to at least 1 episode of a good Christian podcast a day.

I used to think the 30 minutes was enough, and I think that was the devil keeping me back from further intimacy with the Lord. We have to be in His presence in order to be filled. We need to be filled more than we pour out, and I wasn’t full enough.

The other thing I’ve been learning is the difference between being filled up and being poured into. Only the Holy Spirit can fill us up, and other people can pour into us. We cannot rely on only being poured into because that is a byproduct of others being filled. We cannot be dependent on that, and we must be fully reliant on the Lord. Because others will constantly fail us, and it’s just never going to be enough. Jesus tells us that He provides living water, an amount that will never run out. 

He is my source. I must keep going back to the well. I want to pour into others, and I must be connected to the source to do so. The Lord has been teaching me so many things, about myself, others, and His character. I am in a season of healing right now, and it is not easy. It’s hard, it’s painful, it’s uncomfortable, and I want nothing more than for it to be other. Honestly it sucks, but one of my leaders had a word from the Lord, and it was that this will not be left undone. That brings me some peace because it is purposeful, but it doesn’t make it any less painful.